Category: Our Blog

By Nkiru Ogbuli

I read something on Facebook this afternoon. It happens all the time but what would you do in a situation like this? You, being non-members of Finewiners Network that would read this article because I want believe that this is not even a question to pose to Finewiners.

The poster wrote about how a friend of hers would patronize their hotel and pay. Sometimes she protested and so, the guy would just go ahead to pay without consulting her since he already had the account number.

On that faithful day, he paid and told her he had made payment. She then asked him the account number he paid to and that was how they found out he had paid to a wrong account number. Long story short, the account owner refused to refund the money, insults were exchanged and she (the recipient) blocked them everywhere they tried to contact her.

Same thing happened to me last year but the outcome was totally different. I collect and pay out a weekly contribution.  I was to pay someone that Sunday. I can’t remember how much exactly but it was quite a lot. Seeing as it was a Tiv name, I assumed it was either the recipient’s sister or girlfriend since the guy is Tiv. I transferred the money and told him I had done so. The guy quickly responded that he hadn’t received the money. My heart skipped two beats. Apparently, I had made a mistake with one of the numbers. I checked the number he sent again, saw his name and made a transfer to him. I didn’t want any ‘she said, he said’ and thankfully, I had money too.

He then called and told me I could reach the person on the number since Opay account numbers are phone numbers.

I called twice, no response. I began to mourn the loss of my money while consoling myself.  I also left a message. Almost immediately, she replied, saying she was in Church and that she would call me when she was out of there. I waited anxiously.

Not up to an hour later, she called me and asked for my account number, explaining that she got an alert and thought it was one of her customers. She is a printer by the way.

She sent the money to me and I sent back a token. No stress! Janet is her name. I saved it as ‘Good citizen Janet’ and anytime I get an opportunity to nominate someone for an award for integrity, I would nominate Janet.

I would have done the same thing, make no mistake about it. I can not imagine taking someone’s hard earned money. My conscience will never let me rest if I do that.

Ask yourself sincerely, what would you have done?

Don’t add to the misery in the world as it is already. Do the right thing always.

By Nkiru Ogbuli

Ask me my motto in life and I would tell you simply, “Do unto others what you would want them to do unto you.” This is my guiding principle. For Christians, you will find it in Matthew 7: 12. I am guessing there is a similar verse in the Quran (I’ll ask my Muslim friends).

When I see how some people go about life, treating others so shabbily, going about it with so much braggadocio, I just wonder if they don’t have the same consciousness as I have that each day might actually be our last on earth.

It is not fear but when you look around and see how people who are healthy today and tomorrow are no more, you surely would want to live right in the best way you can and leave this world without anything on your conscience, don’t you? Afterlife aside, since many people might not believe that Heaven or Hell exist.

People consciously make it a duty to behave in a manner that causes great grief to others, leaving damaged persons in their wake. They themselves, damaged apparently and so, it becomes a never ending circle.

I’ll give you an example that for the longest time I found hard to believe that human beings could go that far, call me a learner. Say a guy meets a lady with whom he has no interest in being serious with, instead of telling her what he wants, for her to decide if she is game, he goes about it treating her in the most gentlemanly manner. It is a plot that might take years to execute. After a while, she succumbs because who wouldn’t want to be treated nicely? She falls deeply in love with him, then the guy goes ghost! Pray, tell, what do you want to become of such lady? Who behaves in this manner if not a damaged person?

A lady might embark on a mission to ‘eat’ a guy’s money, knowing she has no interest whatsoever in him. She eats for years upon years and wakes up one morning to say she has found someone she actually wants to marry. How do people do that seriously? We know how the story goes most times, not in anyway endorsing that though.

 It happens in business when people get you to trust them totally and you wake up one morning to find out that they have absconded with your hard earned money. Each time I hear such stories, I wonder how such people sleep at night knowing that someone somewhere is in agony because of them. So many examples abound.

No human can be said to be perfect but we can at least try. You don’t have to go out of your way to treat people better but you can at least try not to leave them worse than you met them. We can each strive to be the healing the world needs in our little corners, one person at a time.

Have a great week ahead.

Encomiums have continued to pour in from members of Finewiners Network for their late member Amb. (Mrs) Uyi Odinuwe whose birthday was supposed to be today, the 23rd of April, but who sadly passed on on the 20th of April 2024.

Fondly called Queen Mother by loved ones as a testament to her nurturing and accomodating nature, many have also described her as a kind, loving, caring, humble and friendly personality who would be sorely missed.

Speaking on the life and times of the late Amb. Uyi, Finewiners Network CEO, Amb. Emem Everest said,

“I called her ‘my Queen Mother’ because that was who she represented in my life. Over the last few years, she was a mother figure to me in Abuja. She has been my big sister, friend, cheerleader, and supporter. She advised and mentored me.

“She taught me patience and people management. Her life taught me what true humility is and how to see the good in everyone. Everything in my life and business was important to her. My NGO was her project, and she would call me to ask about the next event and encourage me to keep pushing.”

On the birth of Finewiners Network, she said, “She was the first person I shared the Finewiners Network dream with, and without hesitation, she said, she was in. Even on her sick bed, she didn’t stop making plans with us.”

Late Amb. (Mrs) Uyi Odinuwe was a lover of God and of humanity, showing same through her medical philanthropy to the less privileged members of the society. In the same vein, members of Finewiners Network have pledged to carry on with her legacy of love and sacrifice.

Here is wishing a happy posthumous birthday to Queen Mother. May her soul rest eternally in the bosom of the Lord and may the good Lord grant her family the fortitude  to bear the irreparable loss.

By Nkiru Ogbuli

It is not always that you find people in a society like ours, who are well to do,  still remain humble, accomodating, down to earth and without a care in the world. This was how I saw Amb. (Mrs.) Uyi Odinuwe aka Queen Mother.

My first interaction with her was at the ‘Sell Market, No Be Votes’ Market Outreach at Utako Ultra Modern Market just before the 2023 General Elections. Zitadel Medical and Diagnostic Center, her medical outfit was on hand to conduct free tests for participants. Queen Mother herself, took my blood sample for a blood sugar test. It was high for that time of the day and she asked a few questions like, what I had eaten, do I eat sugary food and take sugary drinks? I answered all her questions and she reprimanded me in a very friendly manner. She advised me to cut down my sugar intake.

The next interaction was at the end of the year Abuja Business Hangout event where she was a vendor. She paid me warm compliments and said things that made me smile. That meant a lot to me because I am someone who is judged before people get to know me.

Then came the birth of Finewiners Network. She became a member and that meant more frequent interaction. Queen Mother with her Zitadel Medical team were on hand once again to provide free medication at our end of the year Outreach at Mpape. When it was her turn to speak, she spoke in pidgin and made the women laugh. She used her medical outfit to touch lives!

“It is not length of life, but depth of life.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Shortly afterwards, she fell ill. When she recovered a little, you could tell from her humorous posts on the group. She came out for our tea party hangout, though she didn’t stay long owing to the illness.

The last time we saw was when Finewiners delegation paid her a get well soon visit. Who would have thought that would be the last time? She was in a lot of pain but still managed to make us smile and laugh.

If I had known that would be the last time, I would have hugged her a little longer.  I would have told her how much I admired her, how welcoming she was, how she made me feel at home. But how would I have known? She told us how she saw herself in the dream addressing the audience at our International Women’s Day event saying, “My name is Amb. Uyi and I am a proud Finewiner.”

Amb. Uyi was truly a proud Finewiner.  She was looking forward to attending all the events we have lined up for the year. God knows best, isn’t that what we always say? Tomorrow 23rd of April was supposed to be her birthday too! We hope there’s a celebration in Heaven on her behalf.

May the good Lord grant her family, friends and associates, and the entire Finewiners Network the fortitude to bear this irreparable loss. Rest well Queen Mother. We will carry you in our hearts forever.

By Nkiru Ogbuli

It is not always that you find people in a society like ours, who are well to do,  still remain humble, down to earth and without a care in the world. This was how I saw Amb. Uyi aka Queen Mother.

My first interaction with her was at the ‘Sell Market, No Be Votes’ Market Outreach at Utako Ultra Modern Market just before the 2023 General Elections. Zitadel Medical and Diagnostic Center, her medical outfit was on hand to conduct free tests for participants. Queen Mother herself, took my blood sample for a blood sugar test. It was high for that time of the day and she asked a few questions like, what I had eaten, do I eat sugary food and take sugary drinks? I answered all her questions and she reprimanded me in a very friendly manner. She advised me to cut down my sugar intake.

The next interaction was at the end of the year Abuja Business Hangout event where she was a vendor. She paid me warm compliments and said things that made me smile. That meant a lot to me because I am someone who is judged before people get to know me.

Then came the birth of Finewiners Network. She became a member and that meant more frequent interaction. Queen Mother with her Zitadel Medical team were on hand once again to provide free medication at our end of the year Outreach at Mpape. When it was her turn to speak, she spoke in pidgin and made the women laugh. She used her medical outfit to touch lives!

Shortly afterwards, she fell ill. When she recovered a little, you could tell from her humorous posts on the group. She came out for our tea party hangout, though she didn’t stay long owing to the illness.

The last time we saw was when Finewiners delegation paid her a get well soon visit. Who would have thought that would be the last time? She was in a lot of pain but still managed to make us smile and laugh.

If I had known that would be the last time, I would have hugged her a little longer.  I would have told her how much I admired her, how welcoming she was, how she made me feel at home. But how would I have known? She told us how she saw herself in the dream addressing the audience at our International Women’s Day event saying, “My name is Amb. Uyi and I am a proud Finewiner.”

Amb. Uyi was truly a proud Finewiner.  She was looking forward to attending all the events we have lined up for the year. God knows best, isn’t that what we always say?

May the good Lord grant her family, friends and Finewiners Network the fortitude to bear this irreparable loss. Rest well Queen Mother. We will carry you in our hearts forever.

By Nkiru Ogbuli

I have never understood that phrase. People say it is a prayer and I have always asked, what sort of prayer that is. Any catchphrase that appears to be the in thing, everybody jumps on it. Even the people you would think are intelligent just prove to you that their brains go on vacation sometimes.

The statement, I stand to be corrected, was birthed in 2020 thereabouts and it is used to connote a tragic event, brought about by government’s inability to provide something the citizens need, or from the ineptitude of so called professionals. An example would be, a patient dying from lack of prompt medical attention or from a road accident stemming from bad roads. That would be classified as Nigeria happening to such a person.

It then means that we have made Nigeria out to be one bad luck, a terrible occurrence and the likes.  Now, when something pleasant happens, what country do we then say has happened to such a person? The USA? UK? The UAE? I ask because good things happen too! Let’s stop being unnecessarily emotional that our brains take flight! Even most cases, the emotions are merely performative!

Over the holidays last week, a boat mishap took place in the River Niger, claiming about 5 lives. May their souls rest in peace and may God grant their families the fortitude to bear their losses. Now, I saw about two posts about the accident  saying, ‘May Nigeria not happen to us’ and I asked out of sincere curiosity how Nigeria happened to the victims. No one answered.

Let’s take the late actor Jr. Pope as an example, he was the reason those two posts were made. Let’s look at the circumstances surrounding the eventual announcement of his demise. First, he did not wear a life jacket when he entered the boat. (Most Nigerians can be careless like that. Myself included. Nobody expects anything bad to happen until it happens.) That was surely not Nigeria’s making, was it? The boat capsized, somehow, his body was brought out of the water. Nobody there thought it wise to perform CPR, heck, was anybody even trained to do that? The crowd gathered and most were just interested in taking pictures and videos to upload on the internet, becoming emergency content creators. Using someone else’s misfortune for likes and clicks?

Next, he was taken to the mortuary. The overnight doctors had pronounced him dead. I didn’t know that it took few minutes to become doctors. On getting to the morgue, the mortician (according to the reports of the emergency content creators) opined that there was still life in him and that he should be taken back to the riverside for rituals. Riverside and not the hospital! From the riverside to the hospital for oxygen, now as an afterthought and at the instance of the native doctor, again, as reported… Did I hear you say wonders shall never end? The native doctor I am almost sure wanted them out of his shrine on sensing that it was beyond him. Now, the hospital which would have been the first port of call, became the last. He was finally pronounced dead by a qualified medical practitioner.

Pray, tell, how did Nigeria happen to the talented young man? I don’t even want to go into all of the conspiracy theories which if we get into, exonerates Nigeria in totality. That should be for law enforcement to unravel. In the end, nobody is leaving this world alive. Again, may their souls rest in peace.

My Nigeria is a great country plagued by bad leadership and equally bad citizenry. As a citizen, you can only play your part. Our part now is to leave the hot takes alone (we talk too much!) and take the lessons from the tragic event of last week. 1. Always take precautions when and where necessary. 2. Learn CPR and learn how to swim if you can. 3. Be sensible to make the right decisions if you are around the victims in event that this happens in the future (God forbid).

The prayer should be, may our lives not be in the hands of unthinking clout chasers to make decisions when faced with a life and death situation.

Nigerians, not Nigeria, are the problem. God bless Nigeria. She will be great again!

By Nkiru Ogbuli

I have never understood that phrase. People say it is a prayer and I have always asked, what sort of prayer that is. Any catchphrase that appears to be the in thing, everybody jumps on it. Even the people you would think are intelligent just prove to you that their brains go on vacation sometimes.

The statement, I stand to be corrected, was birthed in 2020 thereabouts and it is used to connote a tragic event, brought about by government’s inability to provide something the citizens need, or from the ineptitude of so called professionals. An example would be, a patient dying from lack of prompt medical attention or from a road accident stemming from bad roads. That would be classified as Nigeria happening to such a person.

It then means that we have made Nigeria out to be one bad luck, a terrible occurrence and the likes.  Now, when something pleasant happens, what country do we then say has happened to such a person? The USA? UK? The UAE? I ask because good things happen too! Let’s stop being unnecessarily emotional that our brains take flight!

Over the holidays last week, a boat mishap took place in the River Niger, claiming about 5 lives. May their souls rest in peace and may God grant their families the fortitude to bear their losses. Now, I saw about two posts on the accident  saying, ‘May Nigeria not happen to us’ and I asked out of sincere curiosity how Nigeria happened to the victims. No one answered.

Let’s take the late actor Jr. Pope as an example, he was the reason those two posts were made. Let’s look at the circumstances surrounding the eventual announcement of his demise. First he did not wear a life jacket when he entered the boat. (Most Nigerians can be careless like that. Myself included. Nobody expects anything bad to happen until it happens.) That was surely not Nigeria’s making, was it? The boat capsized, somehow, his body was brought out of the water. Nobody there thought it wise to perform CPR, heck, was anybody even trained to do that? The crowd gathered and most were just interested in taking pictures and videos and to update people on the internet, using someone else’s misfortune for likes and clicks?

Next, he was taken to the mortuary. The overnight doctors had pronounced him dead. I didn’t know that it took few minutes to become doctors. On getting to the morgue, the mortician allegedly opined that there was still life in him and that he should be taken back to the riverside for rituals. Riverside and not the hospital! From the riverside to the hospital for oxygen, now as an afterthought and at the instance of the native doctor, allegedly. Did I hear you say wonders shall never end? The native doctor I am almost sure wanted them out of his shrine on sensing that it was beyond him. Now, the hospital which would have been the first port of call, became the last. He was finally pronounced dead by a qualified medical practitioner.

 Pray, tell, how did Nigeria happen to the talented young man? I don’t even want to go into all of the conspiracy theories which if we get into, exonerates Nigeria in totality. That should be for law enforcement to unravel. Again, may their souls rest in peace.

My Nigeria is a great country plagued by bad leadership and equally bad citizenry. As a citizen, you can only play your part. Our part now is to leave the hot takes alone (we talk too much!) and take the lessons from the tragic event of last week. 1. Always take precautions when and where necessary. 2. Learn CPR and learn how to swim if you can. 3. Be sensible to make the right decisions if you are around the victims in event that this happens in the future (God forbid).

The prayer should be, may our lives not be in the hands of unthinking clout chasers to make decisions when faced with a life and death situation.

Nigerians, not Nigeria, are the problem. God bless Nigeria. She will be great again!

By Emem Everest 

Women and age have a long history. It’s like a love-hate kind of relationship. We are quick to say it’s just a number, but we are also quick to concern ourselves with other women’s ages.

If you are my friend, you will notice that since I turned 40, I’m quick to say, “At my age.” This flusters some of my friends, and it makes me laugh. Every time I make that statement, they are always quick to respond, “How old you be sef wey we no go hear word.” One thing these women have in common, whether older or younger than I am, is that they don’t disclose their ages.

I believe that age is just a number, and I also believe that people should be allowed to portray it in the best way they can. I, for one, don’t care if a woman tells me her age or not. What matters is how responsible or irresponsible you are. I’ve seen very mature 20 year olds and I’ve also seen very immature 40 year olds.

I am 43 years old and believe that at my age, there are things I should and shouldn’t be doing. So when I say, at my age, I shouldn’t do this or that, it’s not out of pride. It’s more out of self-awareness. I don’t have anyone to impress, either man or woman. I have done well for myself, and I’m contented with my life.

It’s only someone who is insecure about her age or achievements that will give a second thought about someone’s age. If I say I’m old or young even though we are age mates, then I am! If I decide not to tell you my actual age, that’s okay too, because it’s actually none of your business!

Some years back, I had gone to the club with my boyfriend, who was about 5 years younger than me. Almost all the girls there were about my daughter’s age, and I knew that was my last night in a club. The fact that I will still need 2 days to recover from 1 night of clubbing was another reason. But when I tell my friends that I can’t go clubbing, they think I’m acting older than them, when in fact I actually envy them for still having the stamina.

I’m very comfortable in my skin, and with my age, and I’m definitely going to act the way my brain tells me is appropriate. Women should stop projecting their insecurities on others just because they find it hard to live their truth. So again, at my age, I’m going to be me, whether it flusters you or not.

By Nkiru Ogbuli Continue reading

Who is driving your Red Car?

 (Nkoyo Ekpo Msc, Acipm)

Imagine for a moment that you’re driving down a winding road on a bright sunny day. The windows are down, the wind is tousling your hair and you feel a sense of freedom as you navigate the twists and turns ahead. But then, you look in the rear view mirror and see something unexpected, a red car following closely behind you. You glance again, and to your shock, you realise that there is no one behind the wheel. So, the question arises: Who is driving your red car?

Today, I invite you to embark on a metaphorical journey with me as we explore the concept of self-awareness, personal responsibility and the choices that shape our lives.

In this scenario, the red car symbolises our lives, the vehicle through which we navigate the world. And just like any car, it requires a driver. But who is that driver? Is it our conscious mind? Steering us towards our goals and aspirations? Or is it something deeper, more subconscious, perhaps driven by our past experiences, fears and desires?

Often, we go about our lives on autopilot, reacting to external circumstances without stopping to consider who is truly in control. We blame external factors, our upbringing, society, or even luck for the direction our lives take. But what if I told you that that power to drive our red car lies within us?

Self-awareness is the key that unlocks the driver’s seat of our lives. It’s about pausing to reflect on our thoughts, emotions and behaviours and understanding how they shape our experiences. When we become aware of the patterns and beliefs that govern our actions, we gain the power to change course and take control of our destiny.

But self-awareness alone is not enough. It must be accompanied by personal responsibility.The willingness to take ownership of our choices and consequences. It’s easy to play victim, to blame others or circumstances for our misfortunes but true empowerment comes from acknowledging that we are the architects of our own lives, that every decision we make has an impact, not only on ourselves but also on those around us.