By Emem Everest
Women and age have a long history. It’s like a love-hate kind of relationship. We are quick to say it’s just a number, but we are also quick to concern ourselves with other women’s ages.
If you are my friend, you will notice that since I turned 40, I’m quick to say, “At my age.” This flusters some of my friends, and it makes me laugh. Every time I make that statement, they are always quick to respond, “How old you be sef wey we no go hear word.” One thing these women have in common, whether older or younger than I am, is that they don’t disclose their ages.
I believe that age is just a number, and I also believe that people should be allowed to portray it in the best way they can. I, for one, don’t care if a woman tells me her age or not. What matters is how responsible or irresponsible you are. I’ve seen very mature 20 year olds and I’ve also seen very immature 40 year olds.
I am 43 years old and believe that at my age, there are things I should and shouldn’t be doing. So when I say, at my age, I shouldn’t do this or that, it’s not out of pride. It’s more out of self-awareness. I don’t have anyone to impress, either man or woman. I have done well for myself, and I’m contented with my life.
It’s only someone who is insecure about her age or achievements that will give a second thought about someone’s age. If I say I’m old or young even though we are age mates, then I am! If I decide not to tell you my actual age, that’s okay too, because it’s actually none of your business!
Some years back, I had gone to the club with my boyfriend, who was about 5 years younger than me. Almost all the girls there were about my daughter’s age, and I knew that was my last night in a club. The fact that I will still need 2 days to recover from 1 night of clubbing was another reason. But when I tell my friends that I can’t go clubbing, they think I’m acting older than them, when in fact I actually envy them for still having the stamina.
I’m very comfortable in my skin, and with my age, and I’m definitely going to act the way my brain tells me is appropriate. Women should stop projecting their insecurities on others just because they find it hard to live their truth. So again, at my age, I’m going to be me, whether it flusters you or not.